If you really want to live a happy life, let go of these 7 attachments

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We all want to live a happy life, but sometimes, without even realizing it, we hold onto things that prevent us from truly experiencing joy. These attachments—whether they’re to material possessions, people, or certain ideas—can weigh us down and create unnecessary stress.

Imagine carrying a heavy backpack filled with rocks. Each attachment is like a rock in that backpack, making every step harder than it needs to be.

The truth is, we don’t need most of these things to be happy. In fact, letting go of them can lead to a lighter, freer, and more fulfilling life.

Today, we’re going to explore seven common attachments that might be holding you back. By recognizing and releasing them, you can clear the path to a happier, more peaceful existence. Ready to lighten your load?

Let’s dive in.

1) Attachment to material possessions

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that the more we have, the happier we’ll be.

But the truth is that material possessions often create more anxiety than satisfaction. The constant desire for more can lead to a never-ending cycle of wanting, acquiring, and then feeling unsatisfied again.

As Seneca wisely put it, “It is only pride and curiosity that involve us in difficulties: if nothing will serve a man but rich clothes and furniture, statues and plate, a numerous train of servants and the rarities of all nations, it is not Fortune’s fault but his own that he is not satisfied”​. (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)

Research supports this: a study by Tim Kasser, PhD, professor of psychology at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, found that individuals who place a high value on material possessions tend to experience lower levels of life satisfaction and higher levels of anxiety and depression. 

Basically, it seems when we place our happiness in things, we give those things power over us. The more we own, the more we have to worry about.

2) Attachment to approval from others

How often do we find ourselves seeking validation from those around us?

Whether it’s a compliment on our appearance, recognition at work, or approval from friends and family, we often tie our self-worth to what others think of us. This attachment can be incredibly limiting, as it forces us to mold ourselves to fit someone else’s expectations instead of living authentically.

Marcus Aurelius reminds us of the futility in this pursuit: “How great a rest from labor he gains who does not look to what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only what he himself is doing”​. (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

When we constantly chase approval, we give others control over our happiness.

Letting go of this need allows us to live more freely and focus on what truly matters—our own values and inner sense of worth. After all, the only approval we truly need is our own.

3) Attachment to control

So let’s say you have a detailed plan for how your life should unfold. You’ve mapped out every step, from your career path to personal relationships, expecting things to go exactly as planned. But what happens when life throws you a curveball?

The frustration and anxiety that follow are often rooted in our attachment to control.

But Epictetus offers a powerful reminder: “Of all existing things, some are in our power and others are not in our power”​. (The Discourses of Epictetus , 1916)

When we cling to control, we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Life is unpredictable, and many things are simply beyond our influence. By letting go of the need to control everything, we open ourselves up to peace of mind and the ability to adapt to whatever comes our way.

Trust in the process, focus on what you can control—your actions, thoughts, and reactions—and let go of the rest.

4) Attachment to social media validation 

It’s a well-documented fact that excessive social media use can have negative effects on our mental health.

Recent studies have shown that increased exposure to social media platforms like Facebook is linked to higher rates of anxiety and depression, particularly among young adults. For instance, research conducted at MIT found that widespread access to Facebook on college campuses led to a 7% increase in severe depression and a 20% increase in anxiety among students. These effects are believed to stem from constant social comparison and the unrealistic portrayals of life that are common on these platforms.

Releasing the attachment to social media can be challenging, especially in a world where online presence feels almost obligatory. However, reducing time spent on these platforms can lead to improved mental health and a greater sense of contentment with your own life. It allows us to focus on real-world connections and experiences that are far more fulfilling than the fleeting validation received online.

5) Attachment to the past

“Loss is nothing else but change, and in this Universal Nature rejoices; by her, all things come to pass well.”—Marcus Aurelius​ (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Whether it’s regret over missed opportunities, nostalgia for better times, or bitterness from past hurts, clinging to what once was keeps us anchored in a reality that no longer exists. This attachment can cloud our judgment, fuel anxiety, and rob us of the ability to enjoy the present moment.

The truth is, life is in a constant state of flux, and change is the only constant. By accepting that the past is unchangeable and choosing to focus on the present, we free ourselves from the emotional weight that comes with looking back. Embracing change and letting go of the past opens the door to new experiences and possibilities, allowing us to grow and thrive.

6) Attachment to outcomes 

When we set rigid expectations for how life should unfold, we often set ourselves up for disappointment. Whether it’s expectations about our career, relationships, or personal achievements, holding onto these can lead to frustration when reality doesn’t align with our ideal vision.

As Epictetus wisely noted, “Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace”​. (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)

This attachment to expectations can blind us to the beauty of what actually is. When we focus too much on how we think things should be, we miss out on appreciating the present and adapting to what life brings our way.

7) Attachment to comfort

A few years ago, I found myself in a job that was secure and predictable but left me feeling unfulfilled. I’d imagine many of you are in a similar position as you read this. 

Anyway, I had ideas and ambitions that extended far beyond the confines of my role, but the comfort of a steady paycheck and familiar routine kept me rooted in place. It wasn’t until I faced the growing dissatisfaction within me that I realized how much I was sacrificing for the sake of comfort.

The comfort zone is a tempting place to be—everything is known, safe, and predictable. However, staying within it often means missing out on growth, learning, and new opportunities. The fear of stepping into the unknown can hold us back from reaching our true potential.

When we dare to step outside of what is familiar, we open ourselves up to new experiences, challenges, and ultimately, a more fulfilling life. It’s in these moments of discomfort that we often discover our greatest strengths and capabilities.

The bottom line 

Letting go of these attachments isn’t easy, but it’s a vital step toward living a happier, more fulfilled life.

By shedding what holds you back—whether it’s the past, material possessions, or the comfort zone—you create space for growth, peace, and true contentment.

Ready to continue your journey toward a more purposeful life? Sign up for our Stoic newsletter, where we share weekly insights and practical wisdom to help you live with clarity and intention. 

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